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Call me HellCall me Hell
Because I'll burn you with one look
Call me Heartless
Because I don't care
If you live
Or die
(But I would rather I get to deal the final blow)

So go ahead
Die today
But then again
You could of died yesterday
And you're just a part of my
Imagination
(Shouldn't that be insanity?)

Call me Crazy
Because I refuse to believe in your world
Because I live in another state of mind
Far away from
Your time line

Dusts of IllusionsI am a hideous beast
covered in dusts of illusions
I came from angels
but got lost in dark confusions

My sanity was taken
when I stumbled to my violations
My conscience turned stale
I forgot the right directions

I am more than an
ocean of regrets and fears
Drowned by sins that
learned to love my tears

Perhaps it was anger
that made me foolishly decide
To blind my eyes
and let wisdom subside

Maybe it was ephemeral hatred
that hindered my good reason
Offering me fires of
painful past to ruminate on

Now the knowledge of this
story is all that haunts me
Sealing my heart in
terrors I can never be free

For all that I a

Pain.Pain.

Cutting into my flesh.
Dripping down my hand to spatter on the floor.
A floor already slick with poppy blood

Pain.

Burning into my skin.
Blistering, bubbling, its mark blazed upon my arm.
A searing wound bared burnt to the sky

Pain.

The welcome release.
A liberation from the cruelty of life.
The self-punishment for words left unsaid.

Pain.

Silent LoveI see through the windows of your soul
And although the silence has never been broken
And the words have never been spoken
Your eyes tell me all.

I never did feel as comfortable as I did with you
I know you felt good, too.
I won't forget your eyes open wide
To the beauty of a sunset tide.

When I needed you, you were always by my side
In the dark you were my guide
The best friend I could have,
You always had me in awe.

But your eyes, they warned me that friendship is all you could give,
I never thought you wouldn't forgive.
Now I spill my sorrow in room of black
But that won't bring you back.

The silence has been broken
And the words have

To an Artist's EyeA world so large,
A world so full,
A world so busy
Does contain so much more,
But in my mind,
So small and confined,
I hope for light
So that I may paint
Pictures full of delight.

Skies become swirls of fire,
The land now lost in color.
The World’s light divides
Into the strokes of Monet
And to the thick expressions
Of Vincent van Gogh.
The World’s scenery becomes,
To what an Artist’s eye may see,
Not only a mere depiction
Of what can be seen,
But into a desperate plea.
A call for expression.
A call for understanding.

My mind reaches out
Toward this world
So large, so full, so busy.
Reaching to find meaning,
Yet realizing

BrokenGo ahead and drive the blade into my heart,
go ahead and twist,
past the chipped paint,
past the dents and battle scars,
is my beating heart,
drive the blade in,
watch me fall,
better to be dead then to be broken,
am i just a toy to you too,
am i just a puppet to your strings,
when will i ever mean something,
when will i ever be good enough,
after all no one wants a broken toy

Keeping secretsHave you ever cried yourself to sleep?
And if someone asked you that,
how would you answer?
Truth be told, I used to -
Just lie in bed and think,
think about every single thing
and how I felt about it...
what it meant to me.
But I'll just say no,
because I don't want you to know
about how weak I am.

And it is when all is silent,
the tears will slide slowly,
soaking your pillow.
Like a movie,
the scene plays out in your head
of all those times when you were
bullied, hurt,
damaged and broken.
Replayed and replayed until
all the images end up blur and disjointed.

Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?
Yes, I have - many times, in fact.
Bu

When one door closes...I’ve heard the saying
When one door closes, another opens,
I felt the disconnect and the lock clicked shut
It closed for just a moment
Then opened so hard
That it spun me

I went down in a haze of mixed emotions,
Not over my loss but feeling for you,
My wants mangling each other,
Eating each other alive,
Until there was nothing left
But me

When the tears stopped
and you were there, waiting
I ran toward you
Wanting change, wanting freedom
Embracing an uncertain future
For love

Your eyes were like the ocean
A swirling punch bowl of blue and white,
So inviting in their dance
So severe was the pull of your undertow
That I dove right in

A Moment Of Your TimeA moment of your time is all I ask

Would you kindly, if it’s okay, spend some time with me? I don’t ask for much time, only a moment or so, that is all I ask.
Would you kindly? People come and go so quickly in life, always rushing from one place to another without taking a second to slow down.

A moment of your time is all I ask

All through life we tend to be in a rush. A rush to grow up into an adult, a rush to work and fulfil a routine that really tends to limit what else we can do in our lives, a rush to simply rush around, usually for no reason at all but to appear busy.
So would you kindly? It’s only a moment of t

MercyYou're like a fallen angel
A dusty doll on the shelf
Your eyes still to the ceiling
Counting the seconds
The spans between the rise and fall of your chest
Cutting through the torture
Tracing the bites on your stomach with shaking fingers
Cursing Venus
Merciless bitch
Drunk behind the gym during class
So broken
Helpless
Yearning and mourning
Nothing but a scared little boy
Face pressed to the filthy bus window
Watching mommy wave goodbye
You're a broken wine glass
Shattered between stiletto heels
Branded with ruby lipstick and the stick of apple wine
Babe, don't try to shove your bruised knuckles in your empty pockets
Brush it off

Life ItselfThe only time I smiled today
Was when I thought of dying
And how good I am at lying
Each and every single day.

I've got a box of painkillers
They sleep right by my bed
For when all I see is red,
They'll numb it into darkest white.

I've tried talking to people,
But I can't word what I want to say
And maybe I like living this way,
Knowing that I'll die soon.

I know I'm self-destructive
My crosshatch skin screams it
But inside there's a little bit
That still aches to be saved.

I've tried before and I'll try again
To put my worthlessness away
But fate forced me to stay;
Death's a bitch like that.

Life makes me want to die
Yet it won't let me

AgainForever perceiving tunnel vision
Lost in everyday traditions
Composing nonsensical renditions
To explain the thoughts within

Always falling backwards
Into the deepening abyss
Looking to the sky to find
The meaning in the myth

Two RoadsTwo roads set in front of me,
One deciding who I will be,
And the other feeding the demon.
Slowly I head towards my future,
But suddenly before I know it I turn,
To the hell deep down I know I've deserve.
With every breathe I have taken I have earned,
The future years of pain,
That will be just the same,
As right now.
No scream or sound,
Will leave my mouth.
From here all is set south.

EchoHello?
Is there anyone out there,
A single soul,
Someone who might care?
Hello?
I-I don’t know where to go;
Is it only me,
Or is there an echo?
It is all I know to say
While I desperately plead-
Can’t stop pleading-
But I’m also bleeding
In a familiar pain
Synonymous
With loneliness’s name.
Hello?
Why can no one hear my cry?
I feel as if I am going to die
Without ever being heard.
Did I lose my voice
And fail to even realize?
I am growing hoarse,
And I doubt that things
Could get much worse.
Honestly, silence never got me
Very far-but now I see
That screaming my throat sore
Does not do much more;
Why should I bother,

InsanityFrom the suffering I come
Bleeding through the eyes,
The hope is now gone
Drowned in your cries.
A sudden scream, the agony’s so loud,
You drop to your knees,
Pray to God to help you out,
But once again, He has let you down.

Not able to move,
Not able to speak,
Life is so cruel,
And always was, it seems.
You’ve lost your will,
You’re getting weak,
Your body has collapsed
And so have your dreams.
Your mind gives up,
But you still want to fight,
Strength seeps out through your wrists
So you just fall down.

Then comes the peace,
So desired and calm.
Your head is now empty
And so is your heart.
There’s no more pain,
No memor

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More from ~TheDeadlySugar

We Will March OnIn terror step, in terror thought
The clouds loom black and low
Come face to face with pain or plaster
Their empty souls an echo

Their acts devour permafrost
With smiles and laughs contagious
But beneath the bread and baked potatoes
Their screams threaten to surface

I see a family suffocate
By Osiris’s deadly hand
The glowing face of comfort’s embrace
Relinquished yet again

A company succumbed to trance
Like sardines in a can
Within each one of us a tale
Hearts struggle to withstand

We will not drown. We will not fall
Through agony and pressure
While bones do stiffen and lives do fade
We will march on together

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Submitted: March 3
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I Smile

by ~TheDeadlySugar, Mar 3, 2013, 7:28:55 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Traditional Fixed Forms

I smile to hide these shadow’d bloody eyes;
I speak to usurp count'nance's deceit;
I give when words will proclaim none but lies;
I think for mind in rein cannot retreat.
I cannot smile for eyes betray false joy;
I cannot speak or broken cries escape;
I cannot give what I will just destroy;
I cannot think with veil’d wounds agape.
Now force this smile upon my stitched lips.
Uproot the latch and only truth will speak.
My life I give if secrets tip, and slip
Away to let the tide a new path seek.
Just give me freedom from this endless pain,
Then maybe I can live my life again.

I Smileby ~TheDeadlySugar

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Traditional Fixed Forms

©2013 ~TheDeadlySugar

"I Smile/Mein Traumleben"
Sonnet

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~Puddha1988 Mar 5, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

Good on ya for doing so well on this

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~TheDeadlySugar Mar 5, 2013

Thank you so much! I ham so glad you like it.

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~Puddha1988 Mar 5, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

Anytime, you have a great talent, keep it up

and thank you for the Llama

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~xXShadowsEdgeXx Mar 4, 2013

I can agree with Penguin.. Hmm..

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~TheDeadlySugar Mar 4, 2013

I hope it's and okay poem. :]

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Mood: Astonished

~xXShadowsEdgeXx Mar 4, 2013

It is, don't worry about it.

If I seemed spacey in my last reply it is because i'm doing my homework at the moment.. x.x 2 journals before 9am tomorrow.. Typed.. But no, now that I am on a break, you did a good job with it. ^^
What I mean is, I agree with having to see how it relates. My favorite line is: "I cannot give what I will just destroy".. So.. yeah.. back to work.. x.x

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~TheDeadlySugar Mar 4, 2013

Good luck with your work.
Actually, this poem is one of five for a poetry project in English class.

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~xXShadowsEdgeXx Mar 4, 2013

Thank you. And, oh? Well, it's amazing. Keep up the good work.

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~Penguinqueen423 Mar 3, 2013 Hobbyist Artist

This relates to you so much, I like how accurate it is.

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~TheDeadlySugar Mar 3, 2013

Thank you so much.

I am glad you can see how it relates.

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